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Joke of the Day

"Forrest Whitaker turned 51 today, his right eye turned 47."

"that show ""Intervention"" should just be called ""Haters"""

"A vegan, an atheist, and a Crossfitter walk into a bar.... The only reason I knew is that they wouldn't shut the fuck up about it."

"Did you hear about the cannibal Bob Marley? He shit the sheriff (but he did not shit the deputy)."

"Ever since I became blind I never looked back... Or forward, or right, or left."

"I'm starting a therapeutic cooking class for Parkinson's Disease patients. It's called ""Shake & Bake""."

"If my partner didn't want me to wear yoga pants because they make me too attractive to other men, I'd respect his wishes and take them off."

"My boss is having a colonoscopy today. I sure hope they find his head."

"A woman walks in to a bar and asks the barman for a double entendre So he gave her one."

"Where do I see myself in 5 years? May 2019. Next question."