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Joke of the Day

"What do you get when you cross Gnomes and Worgen?? Micro-Worgenisms! (From my Bizzard support ticket response today.)"

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"Why does Bruce Willis live in America and watch porn? Because he wants to live free and die hard"
"What's better than winning a gold medal at the Special Olympics? Not being retarded."
"What do you get if you cross a Boxer and a Painter? Mohammed Dali"
"How people think Brain: ""You're weird."" Body: ""and you're fat."" Face: ""plus you're pretty ugly"" Food: ""I'm here for you babe..."""
"My girlfriend told me I was one in a million. When I looked through her text messages, I had to admit she was right."
"A policeman spots a woman driving and knitting at the same time. Driving up beside her he shouts out the window... ""Pull over!"" ""No"" she shouts back ""a pair of socks!"""
"What do you call a white duck? A quacker"
"Who do you call during a Zika virus emergency? The SWAT team"
"I don't know, guys. The whole ""play dead when a bear attacks"" thing sounds suspiciously like something the bears would come up with..."