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Joke of the Day

"Hey Babe Hey babe. Are you a piece of art? Because I'd love to nail you against a wall."

"Trump announces plan to crush China by sending Chris Christie to every Chinese buffet in the country."

"What did the monkey say when he was throwing his feces? This shit is bananas!"

"I'm on a new diet where all I eat is soup on weekdays. It's called: Miso Hungry."

"I just finished a 5 year relationship. Luckily it wasn't mine."

"Sorry, I can't make it. Can't find my ""goin out"" sweatpants."

"Sex is like snow. You never know how many inches you are going to get or how long it is going to last."

"The other day I ran into my Ex So I backed up and ran into her again."

"In bed they call me Snickers... ... Because I always satisfy!"

"[Girl's night out] Girl 1: Omg I haven't had sex in so long, I swear I have cobwebs down there Spider-Man's GF: *nervous laugh* HAHA SAME"