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Joke of the Day

"Sir you haven't touched your custard. I'm just waiting for the fly to stop using it as a trampoline !"

"My mom sent me a two paragraph email to inform me that she had called customer service and received $17 off her flight to see me."

"What do gifted bakers take in high school? AP Flour"

"Why are the cops shooting so many black men? There's plenty of Mexicans to shoot too. Yeah I'm going to hell for that one."

"If you call the suicide hotline in Iraq they ask if you know how to drive a truck."

"Why can't a bicycle stand on its own? It's two tired."

"If theres one thing ive learnt in the past dating magnets It's that they're very attractive"

"my 2 yr old today: Mom how'd you get past the cognitivie dissonance of having me even tho climate change will render the world uninhabitable"

"I went on one of those once in a lifetime holidays last week... I won't be doing that again. joke by Tim Vine"

"What goes in dry, but comes out hard and wet? A Teabag."