205045

Joke of the Day

"Two packets of crisps were walking down the street. A car slows down beside them and asks if they wanted a ride to where they were going. The crisps replied 'no, we're Walkers'"

Next Joke
 
"*Putting ikea furniture together* Her: ummm, it's supposed to be a dresser Me:* Standing next to a wooden T.Rex* I KNOW WHAT IM DOING, LINDA"
"I heard on the news Stoners took over a town This was a high coup"
"*ring* Her: Hello, Sex Addict Hotline Me: Help please Her: Ok sir. Let's take some breaths. Deep. Slow. In and out Me: THIS ISN'T HELPING"
"Why was Pinocchio acting drunk? He couldn't handle his lacquer"
"I hate when people ask me what I see myself doing in five years time... It makes me think of a time I won't be able to repost this fucking joke. Fuck 20/20 vision."
"she had the body of Serena Williams and the penis of Serena Williams"
"Why did the pedophile cross the road? To get to the other slide."
"TOO MUCH PROTEIN? No whey mate"
"Dja hear about the LGBT who would only own a Dalmatian if its spots were bleached white? Bruella de Ville"