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Joke of the Day

"*Putting ikea furniture together* Her: ummm, it's supposed to be a dresser Me:* Standing next to a wooden T.Rex* I KNOW WHAT IM DOING, LINDA"

"What's the difference betweens jews and Santa-Claus? Santa Claus comes down the chimney"

"On the periodic table, the elements are represented by two groups. The symbols and the atomic number. Law and Order: Atomic Mass Unit"

"cremation vs burial During a tunisian funeral , a buddhist tourist asked a man . -why don't you burn the body ? - we just buried the body because God will burn him down"

"Charm me with your beauty and intelligence or just wait till I'm really drunk."

"Love is like a machine... ...sometimes you just need a good screw to fix it."

"What do cigarettes and pussy have in common? The closer you get to the butt, the more flavor you get."

"Why can't women explain feminism to men? Because they need a man to do it for them"

"I'm so bad at math that the equation 2n + 2n is foreign to me..."

"Why were some people not allowed in to the Poet College? Because they were bard."