205025

Joke of the Day

"How much does a Qur'an weigh? Allaht"

"What do Micheal Jackson and caviar have in common? They both come on little crackers!"

"It's like Maury doesn't even care who the real father of my kitten is."

"I know we get a lot of dad jokes...here's a mom one What did Captain Picard say when he saw the new sewing machine? Make it sew!"

"Spent way too much time walking around the house trying to track down an odd noise that turned out to be a whistle in my nose."

"Ahhh.......I love the sounds of autumn; that old familiar crunch of Halloween candy wrappers on the floor."

"For every movie about Vietnam starring Chuck Norris, the historical duration of the war decreases. Just 3 more ""Missing in Action"" sequels, and that war will have never actually existed."

"The pen is mightier than the sword. Also, parking a car in someone's living room sends a pretty damn clear message too."

"Ever since I swallowed a watch I've been keeping myself busy taking laxitives, eating lots of fruit and drinking prune juice. Anything to pass the time."

"I saw a kid getting bullied by 4 people, so I decided to help out. He didn't stand a chance against the 5 of us."