205024

Joke of the Day

"*Giant boulder slowly crushes several hundred cats* Guy who's about to invent the bagpipes: Hey, this gives me an idea!"

"There are only two types of people in this world: Those who can extrapolate from incomplete data."

"I spend a lot of money at Sephora for someone who's got access to filters"

"A police officer pulled me over and said ""Sir, please identify yourself"" So I took out a mirror and replied ""yeah, it's me"""

"[the last supper] Waiter: ok, your bill comes to 30 pieces of silver Judas: I got this"

"Why did the baker have brown hands? He kneaded a poo"

"thats one giant leap for mankind, and also a giant leap for puppies. scruffy keep your helmet on"

"Is that placebo working for you? Well, now that you mention it, no."

"""BE YOURSELF!"" is about the worst advice you can give to some people."

"I had a terrible experience at the Reddit bistro All of the servers were busy"