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Joke of the Day

"*watches TV* GET AN ANONYMOUS ONLINE QUOTE NOW! *logs on* ""You're a giant idiot and your parents are very disappointed in you"" - Anonymous"

"I bet when Johnny Depp dies his only regret will be he didn't do enough Tim Burton films."

"What do you call a spouse of 30 years? A stalemate."

"My friend died at an orgy the other day and nobody knows why. It's a fucking mystery."

"I got a black girlfriend now. I burned my hand on the stove."

"If you feed Donald Trump after midnight or put him in water what will he turn into? A Kremlin."

"I heard Nintendo once planned to change Donkey Kong's name for their audience in Germany There, he was originally gonna be called ""Danke Kong"""

"Inception *A van falls into a river* (Duration: 148 minutes)"

"What did Patrick Stewart say when he proposed to his wife? Engage."

"Oh, your kid gets straight A's at school? That's cool. My son knows exactly what to do in case of a zombie apocalypse."