204723

Joke of the Day

"Chasing away everyone who's ever tried to get close to you is a great way to save money on Christmas shopping."

"guy walks into a bar... bar eats 'im."

"I renewed my driver's license today and was asked if I wanted to be an organ donor. I declined but did offer to give them my old harmonica."

"Q: What time do kids need naps? A: At whine o'clock."

"Cherish your high school friendships, those people will be strangers for the rest of your life."

"WHAT DO WE WANT? License and registration, please. WHEN DO WE WANT IT? Sir, please stop shouting and step out of the vehicle."

"After weeks of speculation that the new pope would be black... ...alter boys at the Vatican are letting out a collective sigh of relief"

"I heard they're selling heart-burns that only take two minutes to cook now! I think they were called, Hot-pockets?"

"What do you call a fish with no mouth? A floppy dildo"

"What's big, gray, and doesn't matter? An irrelephant."