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Joke of the Day

"After weeks of speculation that the new pope would be black... ...alter boys at the Vatican are letting out a collective sigh of relief"

"*buying a dog* Is this a good dog? ""Oh yeah, very good dog."" Do any tricks? ""No, I'm clean, selling dogs now."""

"Coworker: ""How was your weekend?"" Me: ""You know, they killed Socrates because he asked too many questions."""

"[MURDER TRIAL] JUDGE: So in 27 years of marriage, you never knew your wife was allergic to salt? MR.SLUG:[Into mic] That's correct."

"Did you hear about the houseboat that crashed? Everything but the kitchen sank! lol it's shitty but this is what happens when i zone out at work"

"My dad always told me to watch out for number one... ... he bites."

"4-year-old: What happens if I microwave 5 Barbies? Me: That's an oddly specific question. 4: I already know what happens if I do it with 4"

"Why did the snowman call his dog Frost ? Because frost bites ! "

"Are anti-jokes still funny? Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead"

"I hate it when I have lots of visitors but only enough chloroform for one and have to use it on myself."