204711
Joke of the Day
"What to do? What do you do when your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down, and use more lube."
Next Joke
"If I had a dollar for every time I said this I would be making money in a real weird way! Best comic I ever heard, Mitch Hedberg (1968-2005)."
"Longest English word: 'pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosi' Longest Spanish word: 'GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLL'"
"Addiction therapist: You've tweeted 36k tweets in a year. Me: Yeah, so? Therapist: What are you paying me for? Me: Material. Therapist: ..."
"ad for a wife A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: ""Wife wanted."" Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: ""You can have mine."""
"Job Posting: local pond looking to hire tadpole, must have previous experience as frog"
"Amanda Bynes and Lindsay Lohan have a fight to the death. Who will win? Everybody."
"How does a dog play Hendrix on guitar? With a chihuahua pedal."
"What's the difference between a cult and a religion ? About a couple thousand years."
"*acts sassy* *flips hair* *walks into a wall*"