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Joke of the Day

"ad for a wife A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: ""Wife wanted."" Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: ""You can have mine."""

"How to get midgets to drink your beer. Try setting the bar low."

"There are two types of people in the world. Those that can extrapolate from incomplete data."

"I haven't spoken to my wife in weeks... I didn't want to interrupt her."

"I'm handling Monday the same way I handle constipation. Gritting my teeth and wishing it pass already."

"In space, nobody can hear you scream for ice cream. So remember, before trips to colonize the galaxy bring your Ben & Jerrys."

"I keep getting bills from the Memory Erasing Clinic but I've never been there"

"You better watch out... ... 'cause I know Jiu Jitsu, Tae Kwon Do, Kung Fu, and about 12 other Chinese words!"

"My nephew got me with this one He said ""they've been together for 15 years."" When I asked who, he said ""DEEZ NUTSS"""

"Did you hear about the farmer running the illicit sex ring? Apparently it was a pig fucking deal."