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Joke of the Day

"Why was I sentenced to 1 year in prison with 6 months probation after killing a nigger? On charges of impersonating a police officer."

"For class, my son had to create his own mythological god. He created Chillux, the god of relaxation, whose house is full of hammocks."

"A baby seal walks into a club.... ba dum bump - ting...."

"I get to my doctor appointments 45 minutes late so I can get there on time."

"A poll showed that North Korea is the happiest nation in the world! 100% of citizens reported being happy!"

"How do you say 'The Torah' in German? Kindling."

"I wanna stand next to a bum with my own sign that says ""my hair has no volume today & I can't find the microfiber cloth for my $160 Oakleys"""

"A hipster walks into a bar... and says ""This place sucks now, it used to be better before all the hipsters took over."""

"What's common between American beer and making love in a canoe? It's fucking close to water."

"So, when people say ""LOLZ"", does that mean they laughed themselves to sleep?"