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Joke of the Day

"I wanna stand next to a bum with my own sign that says ""my hair has no volume today & I can't find the microfiber cloth for my $160 Oakleys"""

"What do you call a social media platform designed for religious people who also have speech impediments? Faithbook"

"Why do astronomers put beef in their shampoo? for meatier showers."

"I don't trust people with graph paper They're always plotting something"

"Why is it impossible to mistake a penis for a vagina? Because there's a vas deference."

"Doctor Doctor will this ointment clear up my spots? I never make rash promises!"

"Why do seagulls fly over the sea? Because, If they flew over the bay, they would be called bagels."

"I wanted to change my Reddit password from Warriors into Cavs. But Reddit said Too weak"

"The only time I've ever been a priority is when I paid extra for shipping."

"A distraught farmer asked a preacher what would happen if he killed a beaver who had begun working near the canal by his farm. ""Damned if you do, dammed if you don't."""