204632

Joke of the Day

"I recently learned how to suck my own dick... Sorry if I sound full of myself."

"A masked priest just threw some holy water at me... ... I think it was a blessing in disguise."

"Hello?.... Steph? Man: Can I get Steph Curry's number? Operator: 1-800-war-rior Man: I tried that, but it didn't ring"

"this one has claws This one swims but can't fly This one is huge & runs funny This one bangs his head against trees - god making birds"

"What's the name of the elite hacking group from Canada? Anonymoose"

"Why were all the gays winning poker in the 40's? Because they had to keep a straight face"

"How many punks does it take to change a light bulb? None. Punks never changed anything."

"Sometimes when I'm sitting in a swivel chair, I'll turn around quickly and smile and pretend I'm in the opening credits of a sitcom"

"where do sperm go when they die? The sementery."

"How many alzheimers patients does it take to screw in a lightbulb? To get to the other side!"