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Joke of the Day

"I wonder if I could save more than 15% on my car insurance if Geico wasn't paying for so many fucking commercials?"

"Why do so few people become botanists? Because of the stigma."

"You know how I know you're stupid? You clicked on this link!"

"Pickup Lines Everyone says you're an Angel, but I think you're Medusa because whenever I stare into your eyes I turn rock hard. Do you like bad grades cause I can give you all the D's"

"The milk in my fridge is so old it thinks Elvis Presley's dancing is inappropriate."

"If sex with 3 people is a threesome and sex with 2 people is a twosome, now I understand why they call you handsome."

"What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Neil Armstrong? Neil Armstrong WALKED on the moon. Michael Jackson fucked little boys."

"what do you say about a high mountain? its pretty stoned"

"Her- um.. why are you wearing a Darth Vader mask? Me- you said lets do Yoda together H- I SAID YOGA YOU DOPE M- VERY WRONG I WAS"

"What does Salvador Dali eat for breakfast? surreal"