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Joke of the Day

"Her- um.. why are you wearing a Darth Vader mask? Me- you said lets do Yoda together H- I SAID YOGA YOU DOPE M- VERY WRONG I WAS"

"Hillary Clinton"

"If you see a dentist get shot and hes bleeding out, just casually mention how he needs to floss more so he doesnt bleed out like that"

"Guys remember: if you encounter a girl in her natural habitat, don't panic. She's just as scared as you. Make loud noises, she will run off."

"I just had sex with Jesus Christ I wasn't prepared for his second coming."

"I have a fear of speed Bumps I'm slowly getting over it."

"Q: What do you call a person who plays the viola? A: A violator."

"What do you call two Mexicans playing volleyball? Juan on Juan"

"If a woman is cold as a fish, a man has to be as patient as a fisherman."

"On Reddit you get crucified for not checking your facts... But on Tumblr you get beheaded for not checking your privelage."