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Joke of the Day

"what do you say about a high mountain? its pretty stoned"

"The difference between an European that feels fat and an American that feels the same? The European goes to the gym, the American goes to Jim's."

"A cop that contemplates his existence: Philofficer"

"To test my kid's readiness for a pet I had her clean up poop in the yard all week and now I can't go back to using the toilet."

"Did you know ""orange"" is the same word in both French & English? Why didn't they do that with every word and make it easier on everyone?"

"Nerd crush in Star Wars originals was Carrie Fisher. Nerd crush in Star Wars Force Awakens... The stormtrooper who yells **""TRAITOR!**"

"Why did the rock star fail his depressing math exam? He couldn't get the saddest fraction."

"Cannibalistically speaking Did you hear about the 12 year old orphan cannibal? He had the family for dinner"

"Pink Panther was looking for his friend's apartment. He drives into a street and suddenly drives out. It was a Dead-end. Dead-end. Dead-end dead-end dead-end dead-end dead-ennnnd..."

"What's the difference between a slice of toast and the French? You can make soldiers out of a slice of toast."