204501

Joke of the Day

"I read a book about stockholm syndrome... I hated it at first, but it was great after a while."

"What is 007's fetish? Bondage..."

"A man woke up in a hospital. After a serious accident he shouted out, ""Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs!"" The doctor replied, I know you can't I've cut off your arms!"

"Of course men aren't above women... But I'd sure like to be on top of you ;)"

"[Dirty] Some more dirt was mysteriously added to my garden last night... The plot thickens"

"Me: sandwich for lunch? 6yo: noooo!!! Me: how about salami, tomatoes, cheese & bread? 6: YES!! I win."

"I'm sorry sir, your wife didn't make it. Was it *sniff* the lack of prayers on Facebook? Yes sir, I'm afraid it was."

"Honey! I'm pregnant! Hello pregnant, I'm Dad."

"What is white and 14 inches long? Nothing."

"Her: Can I see your phone? Me: Cu-caw! Cu-caw! Cu-caw! **Flaps imaginary wings and flys into another room**"