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Joke of the Day

"There are only 1,300 subscribers to the new Fappening sub after the ban. The other 100,000 came and left."

"What's worse than finding cum stains in your son's underwear? Finding cum stains in the back of the underwear."

"I lost my rutabaga I'm sure it'll turnip somewhere."

"Fidel Castro just passed away... ...I suppose Black Friday was too MUCH capitalism for him."

"A truck just flipped a dead squirrel onto my windshield and it's stuck in my wiper. I guess I don't have to stop to get supper tonight."

"it's cool when my one dog shits the other one has to go and inspect it like ""just as i suspected guys. it's shit."""

"Why are fruit fetishists never alone? Because they cum in pears."

"5yo: Dad! Dad! Wake up! Me: What? What's wrong? 5yo: You said last night you need to be up by 7.. Me: It's 4am! 5yo: I can't tell time.."

"Which cheese is made backwards? Edam"

"Did you hear about the girl that backed into an airplane propeller? Disaster"