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Joke of the Day

"Heard this from a homeless guy in Philly What did one testicle say to the other testicle? Ya know, just between you and me, that guy's a dick."

"Pluto: You dumped me, now all you do is drive by real slow and take pictures"

"Why did the run-on sentence take a pregnancy test? Because its period came too late."

"Anyone who says time flies, has obviously never been on a treadmill."

"What did the author tell his publisher when he handed him a 600 pages instead of the 200 the publisher had asked for? Sorry, I overwrote your order. :-)"

"If Willy Wonka manufactured anything other than candy that movie would just be a dark tale of a negligent factory owner murdering children."

"Why don't blind people skydive? It scares the fuck out of the dog."

"What's the difference between a priest and a pimple? At least the pimple waits until you are 14 before it cums on your face."

"I used to think Pet Insurance was a waste of money but my cat is at the vets & they've sent us a really lovely little courtesy cat."

"I just read a story about a blind guy who's training to run in his eleventh marathon in case you were wondering what a lazy fuck you are."