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Joke of the Day

"So a UKIP Councillor says God... is punishing the UK with floods cos of the gays. If my sex life effected the weather so much, why aren't we going through a long long dry spell?"

"What do you say to an unemployed Rastafarian? Jah bless"

"So I was eating my grandma out yesterday... When I tongued the familiar taste of horse semen, which is when I realized how my grandma died."

"My favorite sex position is solely based on how bad your breath is."

"Someone needs to tell every movie and tv show that no cell phone beeps when you hit the ""answer call"" button."

"Chuck Norris began selling the Total Gym as an ill-fated attempt to make his day-to-day opponents less laughably pathetic."

"What did the Buddhist monk say when he approached the hotdog stand? Make me one with everything."

"How did the roman cannibal feel about his victim? He was glad he ate her."

"Why did H kill itself? Because the G-had!"

"When my wife tells me to wear sunscreen and I refuse to listen, it shows that I am my own man who is badly sunburned."