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Joke of the Day

"Someone needs to tell every movie and tv show that no cell phone beeps when you hit the ""answer call"" button."

"Hey Guys, I don't have Instagram but I just wanted to let you know that I had oatmeal for breakfast. No sugar, mixed with water."

"I saw an image of Jesus in my breakfast burrito. I asked myself, what would Jesus do? And so I ate him. Two hours later... Holy Shit!"

"What's the difference between a gay guy and a refrigerator? The fridge doesn't fart when you pull the meat out."

"I told my friend not to cry over spilled milk. I mean come on, just because I spilled boiled milk over her"

"Put a load in the dishwasher last night She was mad I didn't pull out."

"What's Rectangle, red and bad for your teeth? A Brick!"

"What do you call a gay man's ball sack? Mud flaps."

"Fun Fact: Over 23.6% of relationships fail because one of the partners doesn't like The Princess Bride."

"Why did the condom cross the road? It was pissed off. :3"