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Joke of the Day

"Why don't emus ever finish all the food on their plates? They don't want to be ostrich-sized!"

"ARTEMIS: No man shall boast he has seen Artemis bathe! *turns Acton into a stag* [Artemis nudes go viral, 2.2M viewers turn into stags]"

"Dude yelled ""Fight me like a man"" at me, so I held him down and marginalized him for a thousand years."

"What do tampons and renaissance art have in common? You get upset when your dog tears up either of them because they are period pieces."

"What do cats eat on a hot summer day? Micecream!"

"If you don't wake up, eat & then go back to sleep, you're doing Sunday wrong."

"I went to a Native American barber, but I wouldn't recommend him. I got an uneven haircut, and Apache shave."

"How do we know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders in the glove compartment."

"Why is it so expensive to divorce a woman here in California? Because it's worth it."

"I bet people who see Jesus in a grilled cheese sandwich freak out over latte art."