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Joke of the Day

"I was having a piss in a war zone. Probably wasn't the best time for one of my fellow soldiers to yell, ""Cover me!"""

"twitter: the only place where you get excited when a stranger follows you"

"What do you call an Eastern European cashier? A Checkoutslovakian. (Better said than read)"

"Why do the Vietnamese never eat fruits? Because they had a bad experience with oranges."

"Why did the hipster burn his tongue when he drank his coffee? ....Because he drank it before it was cool."

"How do French psychologists like their beverages? froid"

"My wife always tells me that I treat my kid unfair. I don't even know which one she means. Thomas, Carl or the fat and ugly one?"

"Hear about the Native American who died from drinking too much tea before bed? He drowned in his teepee."

"How do you know it's midnight at the Neverland Ranch? The big hand's touching the little hand."

"A simple ""Fuck you"" can save hours of conversation."