34264

Joke of the Day

"A Canadian man has found a dead mouse in his McDonalds coffee. They just don't seem to put the effort into those happy meal toys anymore."

"Genie: ""You have 3 wishes."" Ian: ""I wish for everyone to be equal."" Genie: ""Okay. You have no wishes."""

"""We don't serve time travelers here"" A time traveler walks into a bar."

"Why was the lobster upset? Because he found out his friends thought he was a little crabby!"

"DATING TIP: IF YOU EAT A MAGNET AND SLIP ANOTHER MAGNET INTO YOUR DATE'S DINNER SHE'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO LEAVE YOU"

"How soft is Bill Gate's pillow? Microsoft."

"I just gave my cat some 7UP. Now he's got 16 lives."

"Why was Mary Jane not a virgin? Her mother leaves."

"What do you call a theatrical performance about puns? A play on words"

"What do you call? What do you call 'nuts on a chest'? chestnuts. What do you call 'nuts on a wall'? walnuts. What do you call 'nuts on a chin'? .... A dick in your mouth."