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Joke of the Day

"ME: I've been shot MEDIC: put pressure on the wound ME: ok, wound, are you saving for your child's tuition because education is important"

"What is black and white and black and white and black and white? A Newcastle fan rolling down a hill!"

"Why does a fat man when squeezed compliment the ladies? Because the pressure makes him flatter."

"What is it called when a bunch of people, all under 5'2"", go to a raging party? High wasted shorts!"

"My girlfriend doesn't want to drop acid with me. She's acting like a basic bitch."

"What do you do when your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down"

"How did the Mexican greet people in Hawaii? Ahola."

"What's something a white person says a lot, but a black person never says? Hi dad!"

"Reddit is like a shiny, new penny... It's fun to look but completely worthless! - Edit: Wow, front page! :D Edit 2: Oh crap, nvm. I was still on the new submissions page lol. forever alone"

"What did the green grape said to the purple grape? BREATHE, GOD DAMMIT!! BREATHE!!!"