2177

Joke of the Day

"What is it called when a bunch of people, all under 5'2"", go to a raging party? High wasted shorts!"

"In honor of National Limerick day (U.S.) There once was a man from Nantucket Who had a cock so big he could suck it He said with a grin As he wiped off his chin If my ear were a pussy I'd fuck it"

"I'm not sure why my girlfriend called me a douche this morning... but I guess it explains why her sister smelled so much better after I finished banging her last night credit: /u/thehofstetter"

"What do you tell a girl with two black eyes? Nothing, she has already been told twice."

"When I get a dog I am going to name it syndrome Because when he jumps up on me I can shout ""Down syndrome"""

"Sex is not the answer. Sex is the question. Yes is the answer."

"They say 75% of all Americans live next to a pedophile. Not me.... I live next door to a hot 10 year old girl."

"I like my women like I like my steak Dead"

"So a cop pulled me over one day for speeding... he asked: ""excuse me sir, but do you know how long i've been waiting for you?"" i said:"" i know, i'm sorry but i tried to get here as fast as i could."""

"[job interview] ""You wrote here your biggest weakness is not knowing what irony means."" ""Ironic isn't it? Is it? I don't know."""