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Joke of the Day

"Pluto wasn't even a planet for a full year on Pluto. Do you ever think about that? No. You only think about yourself."

"man I hate tailgaters I was doing 35 over the limit today and the idiot behind me was still tailgating and the flashing lights on his car looked stupid too"

"What do you call a sleeping pizza? a *piZZZa* haha someone pls date me"

"Whats the difference between a Pygmy and an Amazon? Well, the Pygmy is a cunning runt..."

"What do you call a blonde in a tree with a brief case? Branch manager."

"Whats green and goes round and round at 100 miles an hour ? A frog in a blender !"

"conjunctivitis.com - that's a site for sore eyes."

"Miracles do happen even on Facebook and Twitter. Come Sunday and suddenly everyone becomes a preacher."

"I have one alcoholic beverage and they call me an alcoholic But when I have a Fanta, no one calls me fantastic."

"A blind man walks into a bar ""Ow!"" he exclaims. The bartender responds by saying that he doesn't know that drink."