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Joke of the Day

"My kids outgoing voice mail message says,,"" I'm sorry I won't come to the phone right now. It's 2012. LEARN TO TEXT."""

"What do Roman Polanski and Bumblebee Tuna have in common? They both come in little cans."

"This country has a mental health problem disguised as a gun problem and a tyranny problem disguised as a security problem."

"What do you call a gangster Hobbit? Yolo Swaggins"

"Why was Eazy-E Straight outta Conciousness? He had N.W.Aids"

"I asked Kanye West if he'd seen Inception & he opened the locket around his neck revealing a photo of me asking him of he'd seen Inception."

"I ordered a chicken and egg from Amazon. I'll let you know."

"What's a muslim's favourite game? Goat Stimulator"

"reading a book about anti-gravity and its impossible to put down"

"A midget clairvoyant just escaped from prison... ...police are looking for a small medium at large."