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Joke of the Day
"Are iPads supposed to be red with two white knobs on the bottom?"
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"Ambulances are the original Transformers because sometimes they transform mid-ride into hearses"
"The average time it takes for an elderly woman to get her ringing cellphone out of her purse is 11 days."
"Texting wasn't always easy. In my day, you had to work for it. You had to want it. You need an S? You better click that 7 button FOUR TIMES."
"A psychic told me I was going to die a virgin So I raped her and asked for my 20$ back"
"Wife: Am I grotesque? Me: No, angel cake! Wife: Why did you call me a cake? Me: Cake is round? *runs *"
"My boss just choked on a breath mint. It was a tough decision to do the Heimlich maneuver because he really needed that mint."
"I heard something about a Finding Dory Trailer being released today, but I forgot..."
"Someone just called me materialistic. I felt like choking them with my Vivienne Westwood belt."
"What do you call a row of boxers-in-training? A shitty punch line."