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Joke of the Day

"how do you reference your local humane society on twitter? ""##"""

"Hide all your naughty entertainment on VHS. Even if your kids find it, they will not know what to do with it."

"I'm gonna get a tattoo of me getting a tattoo of me getting a tattoo. Inkception."

"Why was Hitler born on 4/20? His mom wanted him to blaze it"

"Did you hear about the teacher who had eye problems? She couldn't control her pupils."

"I didn't sleep at all last night I stayed up all night wondering where the sun went... and then it dawned on me."

"Using dog shampoo when I run out of cat shampoo because I ran out of human shampoo a week ago."

"Why can't Michael Jackson play chess? Because he's dead."

"Trapped in a crevice. ""Go on boy, get help."" The dog chews off my one free arm. ""Ok yeah bring that back to town I guess"""

"I was Going to tell a Racist Joke... But then my black friend stole them all."