20403

Joke of the Day

"Tried to type hustlin', iPhone corrected to hustling'. I don't need to see the casing to know that I've got the white iPhone."

"Timothy's mom has three children. The first one's name is April. The second one's name is June. What is the third child's name? Timothy."

"Why did the cowboy get a dachshund? Because he wanted to get a long little doggy :)"

"[gun goes off] [every runner pretends to be wounded, then laughs and starts the race] ANNOUNCER: and the annual Dad 5k is underway"

"Yesterday I got dared to have surgery that prevented me from moving my neck... There's no turning back now"

"Ok, I'm finally off dairy. Next is sugar, then heroin."

"Why did the chicken cross the playground? To get to the other slide. *bows*"

"Q: What are swearing outdoor grills powered with? A: Profane tanks."

"A Mexican kid passes a note to his friend in class. ""What do you think you're doing?"" the observant teacher asks. To which he replies... ""writing an ese"""

"What does the Pokemon dentist do? He takes a Pikachu teeth."