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Joke of the Day

"When Facebook goes down, everyone comes to Twitter to talk about it. When Twitter goes down, the world falls mute."

"*cheats at bowling by rolling into the pins*"

"I bet Stephen King's kids aren't afraid of shit."

"Nothing is creepier than watching someone hula hoop with a serious look on their face."

"Be Careful of Egyptian Sharks They can smell blood a nile away"

"Auto correct tries to change the word ""pussies"" to ""Aussies"".... Just saying."

"""Look slightly worried."" - picture advice from The Singer/Songwriter's Handbook"

"A pirate walks into a bar The bartender says ""Hey, you have a steering wheel in your pants."" ""Aye,"" the pirate replies. ""It's drivin' me nuts!"""

"I'm not saying she's a slut, but if she had as many dicks sticking out of her as she did in her, She'd be a porcupine!"

"If Hitler had a pet, what would it be? A dolphin"