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Joke of the Day

"They say that penis size is directly related to shoe size. Which makes the fear of being raped by a clown that much scarier."

"I used to have a roommate who was always smoking in my apartment, but only with e-cigs. He died of e-cancer."

"My friend was bleeding, and the first aid book told me to apply pressure... ..So I told him if he didn't stop bleeding right away, he'd die"

"I can't tell if I'm an alcoholic or a necrophiliac... ... I just love to crack open a cold one every once in a while."

"My doctor wanted a stool sample a urine sample and a semen sample. So I gave him my underwear. Classic Rodney D"

"Did you hear about the score of the football match between Egypt and Ethiopia? Egypt 8 - Ethiopia didn't...."

"wanna hear one long joke and two short jokes? Jooooooooke, joke joke."

"If 9/10 people suffer from herpes.... Does that mean, the last one enjoys it?"

"I was told today that my muslim optician had passed away....Asif Eyecare."

"Pots and pans set: $70. Wrapping paper: $5. Tape: $3. Watching your mother unbox and attempt to wrap said pots and pans: priceless."