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Joke of the Day

"I can't tell if I'm an alcoholic or a necrophiliac... ... I just love to crack open a cold one every once in a while."

"(original) I just got my flu shot and tried to draw something, but it still looks shitty. I thought it was supposed to make me artistic?"

"Autocorrect has been around for centuries, I got mine when I married my wife."

"""I thought I was happy, but then you revved your engine so loudly and I realised YOU are what's been missing from my life"" - No girl, ever."

"After being shown around, the prison warden was asked for his opinion on the prisoners' new creative writing class. ...""It has its prose & cons"""

"What's the most dangerous thing in your freezer? Ice is."

"How long do I have to lay on the couch in the same position before I can call it ""yoga""?"

"What do you call a blind dinosaur? Doyouthinkhesaurus. I watched Jurassic Park tonight, stole this."

"FULLY LOADED Q: What did the mommy bullet say to the daddy bullet? A: ""We're gonna have a BB!"""

"Why do cows have bells? Because their horns don't work!"