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Joke of the Day

"My doctor wanted a stool sample a urine sample and a semen sample. So I gave him my underwear. Classic Rodney D"

"How Many Hipsters Does it Take to Screw in a Lightbulb? A: You probably wouldn't know, it's some really obscure number..."

"How did the Welshman find the sheep in the tall grass? Very satisfying."

"scientist: he's going to be identical to you in every way me: every way? [my clone trips stepping out of the machine] holy shit"

"I'm Indian but not ""able to read sanskrit"" Indian so slow down there Raj, aside from the heart eye emojis I have no idea wtf your DM means."

"My car is so shitty, one time I fixed it with a coat hanger. Goes to show that those things can BRING life too."

"My 4yo son just asked what squirrels eat. I answered nuts. We laughed so hard, hugged, and gave each other a high 5. My boy."

"""I thought I was happy, but then you revved your engine so loudly and I realised YOU are what's been missing from my life"" - No girl, ever."

"""Dad"" said Fred to his father who was a bank robber. ""I need $50 for the school trip tomorrow."" ""OK son"" said his dad ""I'll get you the cash when the bank closes."""

"Guys, how can you tell the girl your having sex with is faking an orgasm? Who cares."