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Joke of the Day

"Q: Why does a farmer look out of his window in the morning? A: Because he can't see through the wall."

"I've got a friend who is a fat, alcoholic, transvestite. All he does is eat, drink and be Mary!!."

"The electoral college needs to go away. The tuition rates are out of control."

"If bird-watching is called bird-watching, what do you cal cow-watching? A steak out."

"Did you hear about the fire at the Governor's mansion in Alabama? The whole trailer park burned down."

"I took the batteries out of my carbon monoxide alarm... ...the loud ringing noise from it was giving me a headache and making me dizzy."

"Why did Kirk and Spock march into the woman's restroom? They were boldly going where no man has gone before"

"At the club, a 6'1"" girl was crying in my lap. I just kept petting her hair, pretending she was a sad giraffe. Win-win."

"[finds money in jacket] nice [finds more money in pants] Today is my day. On a roll Boss: will you please take my jacket & pants off?"

"Can orphans eat at a family restaurant?"