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Joke of the Day

"A Latvian Haiku Where is potatoes? This winter is very cold. Family is starve."

"My first high-school football game was a lot like my first time having sex... I was bloody and sore at the end, but at least my dad came."

"I bought my wife a pair of shoes and a dildo. If she doesn't like the shoes, she can go fuck herself. (Shamelessly stolen from Craig Ferguson)"

"I wanted to be an investment banker when I grew up Then I lost interest."

"a fun thing to do if your wife leaves her fb open: post an argument you had but switch who said what and watch her friends agree with 'her'"

"Have you seen the movie called ""Constipated??"" You probably haven't because it hasn't come out yet."

"My 9 year old son just told me this one Q: What do you call 5 doctors and nurses on a ship? A: A decade Ba dum tish."

"I went to a zoo the other day, all they had was a dog... It was a shihtzu. Thanks to Drinking Buddy from Fallout 4 for this knee-slapper."

"Five chickens leave Topeka traveling west at 25 mph. Please help me find them chickens. Those are my chickens."

"Michigan and Ohio fought a war over Toledo... Michigan won and Ohio has to keep it."