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Joke of the Day

"A three-year-old boy was examining his testicles while taking a bath ""Mom"" he asked, ""are these my brains?"" ""Not yet, son""."

"I often think if I'd taken a different path in life, I could be lying on a slightly more comfortable sofa right now."

"I lost my thesaurus when I was little... I couldn't find the words to describe how I felt."

"I can see six years into the future. I must have 2020 vision."

"I told my cheating girlfriend I was studying to become a magician And for my first act, I was disappearing out of her life."

"Did you hear that Robert Plant got in a car wreck? Now he's Robert Vegetable."

"I applied for a job as a Marsupial... Safe to say I didn't get it because I lacked the right Koalafications."

"I used to work in a fire hydrant factory... but you couldn't park anywhere near the place. [credit to Stephen Wright]"

"Husband sat in his room throwing darts.... at his wife's photo but not even a single one hit the target. From another room the wife asks the husband : ""What are you doing?"" . Husband: ""MISSING YOU""."

"I would tell you another chemistry joke... But all the best ones Argon."