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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the terrorist attack in France last night? The police say the guy was not motivated, but other than that, all they know is that he wasn't very Nice"

"A magician stopped me in the street. He said, ""Think of a number between 1 and 10."" I said, ""OK."" He said, ""Have you got one?"" I said, ""No, not yet. It's only 12.30."""

"Did you hear about the man who flashed three old ladies sitting on a bench in the park? First old lady had a stroke. Second old lady had a stroke. Third old lady's arm was too short to reach."

"I'd hate to give a speech to nudists because I'd be nervous and then I'd have to imagine them without their skin on and skeletons are scary."

"Couldn't eat my soup when I watched The Matrix because there was no spoon."

"What do you call a quadriplegic laying on the floor? Matt."

"Why were Mary and Joseph considered such good businessmen? Because they produced such a great prophet."

"Are your other donkeys jealous because that's one fine ass"

"What professional hates going to the bar? A lawyer"

"How dare you accept my apology, I wasn't really apologizing, that was a trick to get you to say that nothing was my fault"