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Joke of the Day

"wife: know what today is? me: yep wife: on 2 together: 1, 2 wife: Happy Anniver.. me: 3 MONTHS UNTIL.. wife:..sary me: wife: me: ..Santa"

"Which rabbit was a famous female aviator? Amelia Harehart."

"How many cops does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. They'll just arrest the light for being broke and beat the room for being black."

"If you are going to Taco Bell for a diet, you have a bigger problem than your weight."

"Do you guys wanna jear a hoke about dyslexics? I had a joke about Alzheimer's but damnit, I don't remember it."

"TIL you can fit 30 bananas in a Kangaroo's pouch. Also, I'm not allowed at the zoo anymore."

"BRENDA: I brought cookies! ME: I guess I can have one, I've been good all week *eats cookie* *eats entire tray of cookies* *eats Brenda too*"

"I don't understand why everyone thinks the KKK are racist. Every week at our meetings there's always loads of black people hanging around."

"My wife said she wanted to see 50 Shades of Grey. So I took a photo of her hair!"

"They say, ""the grass is greener on the other side..."" That's why Pablo, my landscaper, imports my marijuana."