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Joke of the Day

"Do you guys wanna jear a hoke about dyslexics? I had a joke about Alzheimer's but damnit, I don't remember it."

"[HORRIBLE] What is the best-selling treat in Rwanda? A Tutsi Roll."

"*meteor is about to hit earth* Earth: I have a boyfriend"

"this is the police, we have u surrounded come out with your hands on ur head, then ur shoulders, okay good now knees and toes knees and toes"

"A woman stopped me in the street and asked me to show her how to get to the hospital. So I pushed her under a bus."

"Who is ISIL's favorite Star Wars character? ADMIRAL ACKBAR! ADMIRAL ACKBAR! ADMIRAL ACKBAR!"

"I'm reading a book about anti-gravity **It's impossible to put down**"

"What does kanye west eat for breakfast? an omlette you finish."

"What do you have when you got 6 road workers and 6 lesbians? 12 people who don't do dick."

"An officer was fired for smoking weed and masturbating on the job... No exact details were given to the public, but he was a high wanking officer"