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Joke of the Day

"What drinking game can you play with some Mormon buddies Drink every time r/funny is actually funny"

"I can't tell if I'm an alcoholic or a necrophiliac... ... I just love to crack open a cold one every once in a while."

"Denied candy because I ""didn't wear red"". Kicked out of the office because I ""didn't wear pants"". I'm tired of these Valentine's Day rules."

"How to make money on youtube? Step 1. Submit a false claim Step 2. Collect that money Step 3. ???? Step 4. Massive profit for doing nothing"

"Where did the Grim Reaper find his missing keys? On Death's drawer."

"Can you name two burgers who are royalty? Sir Loin and Burger King!"

"How many women does it take to change a light bulb? I don't know, but I bet we could pay them less than a group of men for the same amount of work."

"I'm for driverless cars but honestly having to drive is the only thing standing in the way of me being a complete drunk piece of shit 24/7"

"You know you're drunk when the cat barks."

"You Rock... me paper, I win!"