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Joke of the Day

"I like to sneak a donut into the salad bar so everyone will ask, ""WAIT, THERE'S DONUTS?"" and I say, ""Sorry, last one!"" and then eat it."

"What do you call a hollow dachshund? Holloween. (*Please don't report me)"

"Sorry I commented on that video of your kid taking his first steps with ""aw look you taught it how to walk on its hind legs!"""

"Guy threw a banana peel out the window into my lane 2day. Yrs of practice paid off and I arrived to work safely. Thank you Mario Kart."

"The only thing worse than watching a TED Talk is doing it on Netflix so your TV thinks you like TED Talks & tries to make you watch more"

"When do Jews go swimming? When it Israeli hot"

"What do you call a baby in a concentration camp? Baby Powder."

"My kids are really competing for least favorite today."

"Where are otters from? Otter space!"

"This Xanax script says I should take one daily as needed but I'm pretty sure they meant per child so, including the dogs, that makes five."