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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a hollow dachshund? Holloween. (*Please don't report me)"
Next Joke
"Why does the pedophile like Halloween? Free shipping."
"What goes in dry, but comes out hard and wet? A Teabag."
"Yoga? No thank you. I'll download an app to my phone so I don't have to stretch for the remote."
"Denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance: the five stages of me hitting the snooze button in the morning."
"The dinosaurs died for our sins."
"""Doctor, I'm afraid of people yelling letters of the alphabet at me."" THERAPIST: Oh! You are? WHY???"
"""Do you know how fast you were going?"" 75 in a 55. I'm sorry officer. ""Get out of the car."" *Cop cuddles driver* ""Stop doing this. I worry."""
"My ex-wife was deaf. she left me for a deaf friend of hers i should have seen the signs."
"But Honey, if I stop eating this third bowl of Cap'n Crunch just because the roof of my mouth is bleeding, then the terrorists have won."