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Joke of the Day

"When do Jews go swimming? When it Israeli hot"

"My girlfriend said she wanted to be treated like a princess... So I hired paparazzi to follow her and she died in a car accident."

"Newton's Third Law is wrong: Although it states that for each action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, there is no force equal in reaction to a Chuck Norris roundhouse kick."

"What do characters at Disney World and strippers have in common? No touching!"

"I love using those really powerful bathroom hand dryers, because I get to see what it would look like if my hands went skydiving."

"What do John Mellencamp and Ashton Kutcher have in common? They both picked up a Cougar and then thought better of it."

"Jesus take the veal I am vegetarian"

"What's the difference between new cops and old cops? New Cops: Belly with abs. Old Cops: Belly with Fats."

"The little bit of decent human being left in me finds cannibalism to be wrong... but who cares, he was delicious!"

"The problem with psychotic cab drivers. They drive me crazy."