203323

Joke of the Day

"[INT. STARBUCKS - DAY] Me: Theres a large rat in the bathroom Barista: ? Me: A large rat Barista: ? Me: THERES A VENTI RAT IN THE BATHROOM"

"Being an assassin would be so cool People would kill to have that job"

"Do we even know how much anything else costs in Africa? Maybe $1 a day to feed a child is way too much."

"What happened to Donald Trump when he travelled to Switzerland? He Felt the Bern"

"What do the iPhone 5 and Viagra have in common? They're both $700 for an extra inch!"

"What if the weather talks about us?"

"I'm not redneck! I'm from Texas! We ride horses. They ride their cousins."

"How's it like living in a totalitarian regime? Can't complain."

"You can tell a lot about a person by reading my girlfriend's email"

"How many mexicans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just Juan"