203275
Joke of the Day
"There are 60 cities in China with populations over 1 million. SIXTY. All they do is fuck."
Next Joke
"Facebook account for sale, friends included."
"There there password. I don't think you're weak."
"The closest I've ever come to winning anything was that time I got picked from a lineup at the station."
"new boss: mind sharing an office? me: no NB: Good [points to room filled w/wolves] bc we finally contained them please keep the door closed"
"What the plate say to the other plate? Dinners on me"
"Q: What do you call the folks who hang around the musicians at conservatories? A: Violists."
"Most men know that women dream of having two men at the same time. But they don't understand that in those fantasies one man is cleaning the house and the other one is cooking."
"At 4am I'm pretty sure it's either too early or too late to start drinking. But if the vodka is in my cheerios, it's technically breakfast."
"What do you call Will Smith's crying daughter? A weeping Willow."